Nov 20, 2007 04:39
Guide to Being an Asshole on Winbolo
I've played this game for years. As useful as it might be to try to impart strategy or game tips in some way in the form of videos or guides, it is tedious and not rewarding or amusing. So instead, today I am giving you the definitive guide to being an asshole on winbolo!
Amaze your friends, dazzle your enemies. Follow these simple rules and you will be the greatest asshole ever!
1) Be insulting. The more personal the better. Mock someone every time they lose a pill or lose an lgm. Cackle at every bit of misfortune someone may have in the game. If someone loses a game, berate them endlessly and bring it up every single time you come across them. Make exaggerated claims about something someone did, or better yet fabricate them and claim they are fact. When called out, fabricate and exaggerate more claims. Always be one step ahead! Also, make sure you hold people to a double standard, though. And this leads to the next rule...
2) You are the best at winbolo and are omnipotent and have never lost, and will never lose. If for some reason you ever lose, whether it be a match or a pill or anything, it is because of your phone ringing (you tell them you are an important man who gets important business phone calls all day), a non-existant bug, a bad ally, or lag. Ahh lag, your best defense. Lag can be used for literally any defeat. You died with 10 pill on hand? Clearly lag was at play! Your lgm was sniped in the open? Lag, duh!
3) Jump go and early farm. So what if there are logs to verify your actions, you rely solely on nobody noticing. And if they DO happen to notice, lie. Say that actually, everyone else reacted slow and you were the one who started on time. If you are true asshole, you cannot be proven wrong.
4) Pad your game results. Don't play people who might actually beat you (nobody can beat you) with your normal winbolo ID. Use a dummy one or none at all. Another option is simply refuse to play them, but claim they are terrible and/or you are better. This is a sure way to be an asshole. This way you can minimize any apparent losses on your record, which arnt real anyways, but its a hassle having to explain that it was a bug or lag every time. Also, make fake accounts and beat those fake accounts to raise points on your wbn ranking. Set up a bot logged in as your ID and another bot on a map where they just take eachothers base and pill in a loop all night. Leave that up for weeks.
5) In an open game, your object is to piss as many people as possible off. Winning is inconsequential. Some ways to go about doing this are making highly skewed teams (and being on the lopsided one, naturally) Another way is to spam people with alliance request. Just hitting the hotkey a few hundred times will do the trick. If you really want to be efficient, make a macro that spams the hotkeys to request alliance on a loop, forever! This also applies to spamming profanities. If at any given time, they don't see something you said or did in the scroll, you havn't done your job!
6) If you see a strict game in progress, join it. Ignore their pleas asking you to leave. Again, here you can spam alliance requests and text, but another great way to be an asshole, is to wall bases and get lgms killed from behind.
7) Abuse the gamebots that the people who run the game hosting servers put up. If you might lose always try to ally them or server kill the game. Kill games in progress for no reason too, and make tons of games so as to crash the bot and make it unusable by anyone else. If anyone asks, you are doing this to improve winbolo. Don't need to be logical, or really explain your actions to anyone, since you are superior than everyone else. The asshole answers to nobody.
8.) Try to take down winbolo game servers. There are several ways this could be done. One way is phone up their ISP and claim they are hosting child pornography. If you can plant some child pornography on their public access ftp server, the more credible you will be. Harass their ISP incessantly, but don't overdue it or you will lose credibility. Come up with a different reason and seperate your complaints in time intervals of a few weeks to a few monthes. If you can collaborate this with a network of like-minded assholes, the more likely you are to succeed. Remember to always threaten legal action. Another way would be to attack their server with a distributed denial of service type attack. If you can't figure it out get some hacker friends to help you.
9.) Make useless and vulgar comments and posts on winbolo.net Be sure to make everything personal. The more personal you can be, the better. If someone else is doing this, remember to chime in against the person less successful at effective textual communication. Photoshop pictures you can find on them, and put them up. Great times!
10) Imitate other people. If you can figure out their username and password, that is better, but it is not essential.
11) In stricts, try to get on the team with the best allies. When teams are being made, claim you are "rusty". By saying you are rusty, you have more excuses to use if you don't win, and it makes you look cooler if you do win. When you win, insult the losing team and claim it was all due to your efforts. If your team loses, you had no part of the losing. Your allies lost it for you. Always.
12) Call go in stricts before everyone is ready. Or Call go in ally chat. Every second of time you waste of other people's the better asshole you are!
13) "Accidentally" kill your allies lgms, and lose your teams resources. Then say it was all their fault. How could it be yours? Don't they know you are the best ever? You define brilliance in winbolo.
14) Expanding on number 1, be hypocritical in how you insult someone. Criticize their spelling or grammar, while making similar mistakes yourself. Say they have no life because they are playing winbolo or are on the forum, or what not, yet you are on the forums making posts as well as playing winbolo too. The same rules never apply to the asshole
15) Use hacks and exploits. Things like armor hack, speed hack etc. Exploit pill bugs and ghosted tanks. Always deny any such act no matter how over whelming the evidence.
Ill add some more as they come to me
Amaze your friends, dazzle your enemies. Follow these simple rules and you will be the greatest asshole ever!
1) Be insulting. The more personal the better. Mock someone every time they lose a pill or lose an lgm. Cackle at every bit of misfortune someone may have in the game. If someone loses a game, berate them endlessly and bring it up every single time you come across them. Make exaggerated claims about something someone did, or better yet fabricate them and claim they are fact. When called out, fabricate and exaggerate more claims. Always be one step ahead! Also, make sure you hold people to a double standard, though. And this leads to the next rule...
2) You are the best at winbolo and are omnipotent and have never lost, and will never lose. If for some reason you ever lose, whether it be a match or a pill or anything, it is because of your phone ringing (you tell them you are an important man who gets important business phone calls all day), a non-existant bug, a bad ally, or lag. Ahh lag, your best defense. Lag can be used for literally any defeat. You died with 10 pill on hand? Clearly lag was at play! Your lgm was sniped in the open? Lag, duh!
3) Jump go and early farm. So what if there are logs to verify your actions, you rely solely on nobody noticing. And if they DO happen to notice, lie. Say that actually, everyone else reacted slow and you were the one who started on time. If you are true asshole, you cannot be proven wrong.
4) Pad your game results. Don't play people who might actually beat you (nobody can beat you) with your normal winbolo ID. Use a dummy one or none at all. Another option is simply refuse to play them, but claim they are terrible and/or you are better. This is a sure way to be an asshole. This way you can minimize any apparent losses on your record, which arnt real anyways, but its a hassle having to explain that it was a bug or lag every time. Also, make fake accounts and beat those fake accounts to raise points on your wbn ranking. Set up a bot logged in as your ID and another bot on a map where they just take eachothers base and pill in a loop all night. Leave that up for weeks.
5) In an open game, your object is to piss as many people as possible off. Winning is inconsequential. Some ways to go about doing this are making highly skewed teams (and being on the lopsided one, naturally) Another way is to spam people with alliance request. Just hitting the hotkey a few hundred times will do the trick. If you really want to be efficient, make a macro that spams the hotkeys to request alliance on a loop, forever! This also applies to spamming profanities. If at any given time, they don't see something you said or did in the scroll, you havn't done your job!
6) If you see a strict game in progress, join it. Ignore their pleas asking you to leave. Again, here you can spam alliance requests and text, but another great way to be an asshole, is to wall bases and get lgms killed from behind.
7) Abuse the gamebots that the people who run the game hosting servers put up. If you might lose always try to ally them or server kill the game. Kill games in progress for no reason too, and make tons of games so as to crash the bot and make it unusable by anyone else. If anyone asks, you are doing this to improve winbolo. Don't need to be logical, or really explain your actions to anyone, since you are superior than everyone else. The asshole answers to nobody.
8.) Try to take down winbolo game servers. There are several ways this could be done. One way is phone up their ISP and claim they are hosting child pornography. If you can plant some child pornography on their public access ftp server, the more credible you will be. Harass their ISP incessantly, but don't overdue it or you will lose credibility. Come up with a different reason and seperate your complaints in time intervals of a few weeks to a few monthes. If you can collaborate this with a network of like-minded assholes, the more likely you are to succeed. Remember to always threaten legal action. Another way would be to attack their server with a distributed denial of service type attack. If you can't figure it out get some hacker friends to help you.
9.) Make useless and vulgar comments and posts on winbolo.net Be sure to make everything personal. The more personal you can be, the better. If someone else is doing this, remember to chime in against the person less successful at effective textual communication. Photoshop pictures you can find on them, and put them up. Great times!
10) Imitate other people. If you can figure out their username and password, that is better, but it is not essential.
11) In stricts, try to get on the team with the best allies. When teams are being made, claim you are "rusty". By saying you are rusty, you have more excuses to use if you don't win, and it makes you look cooler if you do win. When you win, insult the losing team and claim it was all due to your efforts. If your team loses, you had no part of the losing. Your allies lost it for you. Always.
12) Call go in stricts before everyone is ready. Or Call go in ally chat. Every second of time you waste of other people's the better asshole you are!
13) "Accidentally" kill your allies lgms, and lose your teams resources. Then say it was all their fault. How could it be yours? Don't they know you are the best ever? You define brilliance in winbolo.
14) Expanding on number 1, be hypocritical in how you insult someone. Criticize their spelling or grammar, while making similar mistakes yourself. Say they have no life because they are playing winbolo or are on the forum, or what not, yet you are on the forums making posts as well as playing winbolo too. The same rules never apply to the asshole
15) Use hacks and exploits. Things like armor hack, speed hack etc. Exploit pill bugs and ghosted tanks. Always deny any such act no matter how over whelming the evidence.
Ill add some more as they come to me
Last edited: Nov 20, 2007 05:50 (edited 5 times)