Sickboy waited in the shadows.
Several children halted in the street in front of the house, their attention piqued by the glowing skulls leering at them from its windows. They approached the front doorway, replete with ghoulish Halloween decorations. A huge Jack-O-Lantern on the stoop, skillfully carved, glowing with its flickering orange light, seemed to draw the young trick-or-treaters like moths to the flame inside. Surely this house, with its impressive holiday trimmings, would be the candy jackpot of the night. Nearly salivating in anticipation, the little Hulks and Vaders, wolfmen, vampires, ghosts and demons, all opened their sacks of sugary loot before even ringing the doorbell, unable to contain their candy-lust for another second.
But before the first child could step up onto the front step, Sickboy leapt from the cover of the darkness.
He wore black combat fatigues, his face painted equally dark. The red beam of a laser site lit a glowing point in the center of Hulk's forehead, as he stood frozen in surprise at the sudden appearance of the lurker. Muffled popping sounds eminated from Sickboy's gun as the projectiles found their mark. Hulk's head recoiled three times from the force of each strike, and red liquid splattered from the front of his head. The child fell flat on his back as his companions screamed in terror.
Quickly Sickboy aimed the gun at Darth Vader, and before the child could react, he was struck twice in the chest, and one more shot grazed his mask. Vader cried out in pain, and fell backwards, his hands groping at his heart. Red oozed between his fingers.
Still screaming, the other kids turned and fled down the brick walkway back towards the street. One after another they were struck down, one with a red explosion from the back of his head, another from his back. Screaming and crying, they clutched at the places where the shots had found their mark, shrieking in horror at the thick redness they saw as they drew their hands away from where the projectiles landed. Sickboy circled around them, raining more shots on any who were still standing until his weapon was empty. Satisfied, he fled back into the shadows, to reload and wait for more hapless victims. He left the children where they lay, some curled up in a ball and sobbing on the moist grass, some silent as death.
Thes Hulk was the first to rise up from the ground, inspecting the pasty red liquid that ran down the front of his mask, into his eyes.
"Holy shit! What happened?!?"
Darth Vader pawed his chest tenderly, "Are you guys all right?"
"Yeah," said a ghost, "Man, that hurt like a motherfucker!"
The demon was still sniffling, "He hit me in the face! Owwww! He hit me in the face!"
"Stop bitching, you little pussy," said the Hulk, "Take your fucking mask off, you baby."
Wiping snot from his nose, the demon complied.
"Holy fuck, there's blood everywhere," exclaimed the Hulk. Then a look of puzzlement came to his face. He sniffed one reddened finger suspciously.
"It's not blood! What the fuck?"
Darth Vader put a fingertip in is mouth, then he spat. "I think it's paint!"
"Paint!" cried the wolfman. "It's all over me!"
"He shot us with a paint gun!" howled the Hulk.
"Dude!" cried Vader, "I thought he had silencer!"
"No, you stupid fuck," spat Hulk, "A paintgun! That bastard shot us with a kick-ass paintgun!"
"Son of a bitch!" screamed Vader. "Hey, asshole" he yelled into the night, "my dad's a fucking lawyer, and he's gonna sue your ass!"
"Yeah, and my dad's a big huge fireman, and he's gonna kick it afterwards!" added the ghost.
The boys cursed and wheeled about in the front yard, hurling epitets at the shadows where they knew their assailant lurked. A woman walking her dog quickened her pace, fearing that the red-stained, potty-mouthed children were a gang of delinquents who might rob her or worse. The commotion seemed to have attracted the attention of neigbors, as the blue lights of a police cruiser suddenly flashed to life in front of the house.
"Hey! What are you little deviants up to?" yelled the cop from the window.
"Oh my GOD," yelled the hulk indignantly, "Like, this guy in total black ninja clothes shot us like a hundred times!"
"Who the hell are you, you little maggot?" demanded the cop, plenty impatient already after leaving a call where Halloween pranksters had first TP'ed an entire house and then set the paper ablaze.
"Oh MAN!" screamed the Hulk. "This guy came outta nowhere..."
"Don't give me that bullshit you little..."
"Dude!" Vader interruped, imploring his friend, "don't make him mad, he's a cop!"
"I don't give a fat fuck! The guy shot me, and him, and him, and...why won't you listen???"
"Awright, I've had it!" hissed the police officer. He leapt from the cruiser with surprising nimbleness, given his girth, and sprinted towards the kids. They scatterd in all directions, but the cop kept his eye on Hulk. Normally the child would have easily outrun the portly policeman, but his bulky costume slowed him considerably, and his mask made it hard to see where he was going. In the moments the cop's meaty right hand grasped the green-clad truant, while the other wheeled the child around to face him.
"Ha! Gotcha you little punk!" he chortled triumphantly.
"Aw SHIT!" wailed the Hulk.
"C'mon, you little brat, I'm taking you home."
"Aw MAN! I'm telling you we got ambushed!"
"Whatever, tell it to the judge, you little monster. I'm so fed up with you snot-nosed little shits and your pranks, I couldn't give a rat's ass."
"This is the worst Halloween ever," sniffled Hulk, utterly defeated.
"Think so?" chuckled the cop, "Wait 'till I bring you home to your parents!"
The child moaned aloud, and then piled into the back of the cruiser. The car sped away, and all was quiet again.
A quiet laugh came from behind a shrub. Sickboy waited in the shadows.
